Dance like no one is watching!

“Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you’ve never been hurt and live like it’s heaven on Earth.”
— Mark Twain

Isn’t that a great quote? I love inspirational quotes and saying. This one and others like it are everywhere. They’re on posters, key chains, even online. The number of inspirational quotes on twitter alone is shocking.

I think they’re great. We need them. They remind us that life isn’t about the day to day grind. It’s about enjoying every moment and living life to the fullest. They teach us to be grateful for what we have.

Here’s the thing…

Have you ever actually danced like no one is watching? Or sang like no one is listening? Are you living life to the fullest or are you caught in the daily grind?

The truth is that most of us are faking it. We want to be positive and appreciate what we have, but that day to day grind tends to get in the way.

You know what I mean. Maybe that other company just got the account you were supposed to get or your kids are acting up in school.

There’s always something.

Sometimes it’s just really hard to be positive.  I figured out how to do it though. When you’re down and feeling lower than low, you have to actually do it.  Yes, that’s right, dance like no one is watching or sing like no one is listening.

It works. You can’t be in a bad mood when you’re acting silly. Let’s face it, if you’re dancing or singing like no one is watching; you’re acting silly.  Trust me, I’ve done it.

I learned a few things along the way and want to share them with you. Here’s the list:

• To really put yourself in a good mood, you have to sing or dance in public. Doing it in the kitchen is okay, but it’s more fun to see other people’s reactions.
• Your dog will dance and sing with you. If you decide to do it with the dog around, get it on tape and send it in to America’s funniest home videos. You will probably win.
• Adult strangers won’t say anything to you. Most of the time they pretend they don’t see you, but sometimes you catch them smiling and nodding.
• I guarantee people are talking about you when they get home… and not in a bad way.
• Adult strangers will stare out of the corner of their eye. If you catch someone doing it, speak to them and they start to have fun with you. They can’t really help themselves.
• Kids that don’t know you will actually point and stare, but if you invite them to join in, they will. Sometimes their parents will too. One time, we had a whole group of us dancing in the aisles in Wal-Mart. Again, get it on tape! I wish I had.
• Even though adult strangers won’t necessarily say anything to you, if you see them later they will strike up a conversation with you. You’ve become approachable.
• To be truly effective, you have to do it someplace you wouldn’t normally do it. For instance, if you don’t dance at all, a dance club is fine. However, if you love to dance at the club, try it someplace else… like Wal-Mart.
• Dancing in public is so much fun; I try to do it at least once a week.

If you don’t believe me, try it for yourself. The next time you read an inspirational saying, instead of thinking that’s nice and going on with your life; try living what it says. Put the words into action. Your results will surprise you.

Career Choice Matters

Someone asked me an interesting question the other day.  If you had to choose one thing, what is the most important element to building a successful life?  Isn’t that interesting? One would think it would be hard to answer, but it isn’t.

The answer is your career choice.

It is the single most important choice you will make when you’re building your life. I know it sounds like a lot of pressure especially if you hate your job right now, but that’s the way it is.  The good news is that if you don’t have the life you want right now, you can change it just by trying a new career or even a job.

In fact, you probably will change it. According to the U.S. Department of Labor, the average U.S. worker will change careers 3-5 times during their lifetime. Not their job, but their career. It all depends on where you are in your life and your priorities at the time.

For instance, if you’re an executive with a fortune 500 company, you’re probably going to make a lot of money, but you may not have a lot of time for your family.

On the other hand, if you’re a teacher, you won’t make as much money, but you’ll go to work and come home at the same time your kids do.

As you’re going through life, you’re priorities will change. As you’re priorities change, so will your career. So what you choose to do with your career is vital to your life success. It affects everything.

When I teach people how to create their vision; I ask them to write down what their ideal life looks like and we talk about all aspects of their life… personal, professional, financial, health etc.

The second step is to break it down and plan how to attain their ideal life. For every goal they set, they have to do something about their career to achieve it.

For instance, a man sets a goal to begin an exercise regime because he wants to improve his health, but he works 80 hours a week and is a single dad.  He doesn’t have a lot of time.  Somehow, he has to figure out where the exercise program will fit in his life. He may have to give up some income or some family time for his health.

His career choice determines how much money and time he has to do other things. It depends on what’s important. For instance, if a person is young, their focus is usually on making money, buying their first home, etc.  As they get older, they’ll get married, maybe have kids and family becomes more important.  The next stage is when they kids begin moving out and getting married etc.

You get the idea. In each stage, priorities change. If you do a little planning, you can have anything you want which brings us back around to where you are and your choices.

Take a look at where you are right now and decide what you want. What’s missing? What do you need to have to fill the hole?  Usually, it’s time or money. If you’re making a lot of money, but working 80 hours a week; life isn’t great. Of course, if you’re not working and can’t pay your bills; it’s hard to enjoy your time off.

The key is to find a balance. By balance, I don’t mean equal. If you’re broke, go to work. Take any job you can get until you can find a better one. Just start paying the bills. You can fix the rest later. On the other hand, if you have everything you want financially; but don’t have a life. It’s time to start learning to delegate.

These are the more extreme cases. Most people fall somewhere in the middle. Wherever you are, decide how you can change and take the first step. The goal is to build a balance among all aspects of your life.

I know, I know it’s easier said than done. It’s going to take some time and, since priorities change, you may never get it exactly right. That’s okay. You’re not trying for perfection. It’s overrated anyway. The goal is excellence.

If you want help, I’ve taken a lot of people through this process and can help you as well. It’s completely up to you.  In the meantime, believe in yourself.

Planning is GOOD!

Remember a couple of years ago during the presidential primary, there was a lot of outrage about Hilary Clinton.  It seems that both Clintons had “a plan” to win the presidency! It was even written down! In fact, it had been written down before he was even the governor of Arkansas!

First he was going to be president for two terms and then she would join the senate and be president for two terms. The only thing that stopped them was that upstart Obama who decided he wanted to be president in kindergarten.

Do you remember?

Can you believe the nerve of these people? I mean, how dare they make a plan, write it down and follow it. Who do they think they are?

Yes, I am being sarcastic. I never understood the anger about the Clintons or President Obama.  What’s wrong with having a plan? It’s how you get what you want. Yes, you should write it down and follow it.

Of course, you’re going to have to adjust it along the way according to what’s happening in your life. Look at Secretary Clinton. She didn’t get to be President (yet… you never know), but she did get to be Secretary of State. That’s a pretty good job. No one would ever call her a failure.

If you’re wondering what made me think of this, it was a conversation I had the other day. Someone told me they never planned anything because they always had to change it.  What was the point? It made me sad to know that this person had given up.

I hope I changed her mind after our talk. I want to share what I said in the hope that it may help you. If you want more specific help with planning, give me a call or e-mail me. There’s a lot more where this came from.

What I’ve learned is that people who don’t plan are more unhappy and frustrated than those who do. They feel out of control. Powerless. Maybe they’ve tried in the past to plan something out, but things didn’t work out the way they wanted.

Because of that, they decide that there must be something wrong with them. They can’t do it. Success was meant for other people. If you have ever felt this way… STOP!!! You’re not alone and you’re being unfair to yourself.

Planning is good. The plan is what gives you the power to get what you want.  It is the only way to become successful in life. They don’t always work out the way you want, but that’s part of the process.

Remember that old TV show “The A-Team”. After all sorts of screw ups and problems, the good guys won and the main character said, “I love it when a plan comes together.” Of course, the plan had changed about a dozen times during the show, but eventually it came together.

What if they quit with the first problem? Is that what you’ve been doing?  Success is about moving forward no matter what. Did you know that the average number of bankruptcies for millionaires is 3 times? They just pick themselves up and make a new plan.

That’s what successful people do. They plan. Then, they evaluate the plan to make sure it’s on the right track. If not, they adjust it until they get it right. They constantly ask, “What is the best way to get this done?”

They key is to be strategic with the plan. Take the time to look at all of the options and find the one that works. Expect to change as you go along.

It’s about building a strategy that works. Eventually, you will find it. Even if you don’t get exactly what you planned, you will get a lot further than if you don’t plan at all.

Never, never, ever give up!

Be Your Best Self!

I love that Army commercial “Be All you can be”. You know the jingle. I like it because it’s about being your best you. Of course, they’re implying that the only place to do that is in the army.  I don’t agree with that. I believe that you can be your best self everywhere you go. It’s not about the army or even the people around you.

It comes from inside and is a lifelong endeavor. It’s not like riding a bike. You know… once you know how, you can do it forever.  It’s about getting better and better as you go along. I believe that once you stop growing and learning, your life is over. Every day offers something new to learn.

When I first became a teacher, I thought that all of my students should be treated equally.  By equally I mean exactly alike. It only seemed fair.  Over time I learned that treating people the same isn’t fair. They aren’t the same.  Some kids are great athletes, some are great at math and others are great writers. The list goes on and on.

When I was a kid, my sister was just a year and a half older than me and everyone treated us the same. (yes, we were occasionally dressed alike.)  We weren’t the same. She was bigger and stronger and could always do more than me, so I always felt like I wasn’t good enough. The truth is that I was probably better than I thought. I was just being compared unfairly.

Don’t worry. I survived. I’m not scarred for life, but it did help shape me. I set high expectations of myself. When I was younger, I had an all or nothing attitude and felt like I had to always be better.  Over time, I did things that my sister didn’t like to do. As she was athletic, I focused on reading and writing. It was something I liked that she didn’t.

I also learned that it wasn’t about being THE BEST, but doing YOUR BEST.  I hope you can learn from my experience. We tend to compare ourselves to others. When we do, we always find ourselves lacking. I think it’s because we’re our own worst critics.

No one else really believed that I had to be equal to my sister when I was a kid. I thought I had to be and just assumed that they did too. The truth is that you don’t have to be perfect; you just have to do your best. You won’t always be the best at everything, but you will be the best at some things.  Everyone has a gift of some sort.

The trick is finding out what yours is and developing it.  That doesn’t mean that you don’t ever do anything you’re bad at.  I’m the worst golfer in the world, but I still like to do it on occasion. I do my best and have fun. I know my limitations in the sport.  If I spent more time doing it, I would bet better, but I would rather spend my time doing something else. It’s a choice I make and I’m happy with it.

Knowing that is another step toward being your best self.  What are your strengths? Your weaknesses?  What do you want to do better? You don’t have to be in the army to be all that you can be.  You can be your best self everywhere you go.

Careful what you ask for… you might just get it!

Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it. I know I changed it a little because it happened to me the other day. I don’t want to give you all the details, but someone asked me to do them a favor.  I did it, and instead of a thank you, the person got angry about the way I did it.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want the help, he didn’t like the way I helped. Of course, he didn’t tell me how he wanted it done until after I’d already done it wrong. (According to him…I thought I did just fine.)   It really hurt my feelings if you want the truth. Probably would have been hilarious if it weren’t so disappointing.  But I digress…

The truth is that we’ve all done it. You’d be surprised at how often you do it to others.  My mother and I have talked about it many times and have actually caught ourselves doing it.    We usually don’t get angry, but we certainly don’t say thank you. The famous line in our family is, “That was great, but…” and then we tell the other person exactly what they did wrong and how we could have done it better.

Sound familiar?

Sure it does. It’s human nature. It starts when we’re still toddlers. Have you ever tried to teach a small child something new? I guarantee they will teach you how to teach them… and be quite emphatic while they’re doing it. If you didn’t catch it, emphatic means loud. REALLY, REALLY LOUD!

Human beings are born egocentric.  As we grow older, we learn to focus on things other than ourselves, but it doesn’t come naturally. It’s important to remind ourselves that it’s not always about us; in fact, most of the time it’s about someone else.

I was reminded this week when I was on the receiving end of this, but I realized that I do the same thing to others all the time. So how do we solve this? I think I have the answer.

First of all, it takes practice.  Remind yourself that it’s not about you.  Did you know that the best way to get something from someone is to help them get what they want? Think about it. You’ve done a favor before and felt appreciated. You’ve done favors and felt unappreciated.

When you felt appreciated, didn’t you want to do more for the other person?  I bet when you felt unappreciated, it made you want to do less for them.  You certainly wouldn’t help them again and your feelings were probably a little hurt like mine were this week.

So, the first step is awareness and focusing on the positive.  As you go through your day, appreciate the things people do for you. Say thank you even if they may not have done it exactly the way you would have.  At least, you didn’t have to do it, right? Be encouraging rather than critical.

Second, be aware of your words, especially the word “but”.  Every time you say it, you have just negated everything that came before it. Here’s an example.   If you say, “that was great, but…” like my entire family does; you’re negating the greatness right out of it.  No one remembers it. They only remember what came after the “but” which is all the bad stuff.

By the way this also works in reverse. “That was terrible, but…” They don’t remember the terrible part. Choose your words carefully.   Third, you have to know what you want and how you want it.  Let me give you an example. I was visiting my best friend’s family one weekend and her husband was making breakfast.  Like I good guest, I offered to help and he asked me to do the toast. Of course, I was happy to oblige.   Toast is easy or so I thought.

To make a long story short, they didn’t have a regular toaster. It was more like a toaster oven. I never used it before so it took me a minute to figure it out and we both got a little frustrated.   Then I didn’t toast it enough. I didn’t butter it right. I quit when he told me I was cutting it wrong!!!!!!! I’m not kidding! Of course, we laugh about it now, but at the time I was more than a little angry. (Yes, I butted.)

The truth is, he wanted his toast made a specific way and when I didn’t do that, he got frustrated and I got frustrated as well. Had he been specific and told me exactly how he wanted the toast, it would have never happened.    On the flip, I could have asked for specifics and I didn’t. I’m not as particular about how my toast is cut as he is. We both learned a valuable lesson that day.

This leads to the final solution.  Communicate what you want to the other person. Explain how you want it done and be specific. If you’re not, let them do it the way they want and say thank you.   If you’re on the other side and someone asks you for a favor, ask them how they want it done. That way you know you’re doing the favor the way they want and communicating to them your desire to truly help.

Of course, developing self awareness and communication skills takes time and is something you will do your entire life (I hope).  So, if nothing else, remember the first step… practice. Say thank you when someone does something for you. Even if they don’t do it perfectly, at least you didn’t have to do it.

Build a Better Relationship!

I want to tell you a story. One day this woman called me out of the blue and said she was interested in individual coaching. I have to admit I was excited. It’s always nice when unexpected business comes.

We agreed to meet for coffee to discuss how I could help her in her business.  When she arrived, she wasn’t alone. She was in network marketing and she brought her sponsor with her. At first, I thought great, her sponsor can see how I can help and I may get two for the price of one. Yea! Me!

Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Some of you see where this is going. The next thing I knew I was being pressured to sign up for the latest greatest business opportunity. We never even discussed coaching.

Before you ask, I got out of there as quickly as I could and didn’t contact her again.  I thought about it because she wasn’t going to get very far doing business that way, but I was afraid she would bring her whole group next time. Yikes! I decided to let her go.

Has this ever happened to you? Of course it has.

This was an extreme case, but it’s happened to all of us at one time or another and not just with MLM.  Has anyone ever gone to a time share for the weekend?  How about to a car lot? Why was the “do not call” list started?

People were getting blind-sided with high pressure marketing calls. Now everyone is worried about spam. There’s a reason for it. In sales, people are taught that if you just talk to enough people, you will sell something.

Don’t get me wrong. I love sales! I know when I am being sold and enjoy a good sales pitch. What’s that old saying, “Nothing happens until somebody sells something?” I love that.  These people weren’t trying to sell me, they were working the numbers.

It’s the theory that if you throw enough mud up against a wall, some will stick.  Yes, it will, but it’s still mud. Eventually it will dry up and fall off the wall and it certainly isn’t going to bring you any other business.

There’s a better way. All it takes is a change of attitude.  Instead of just counting heads, focus on what you can do for those heads.  What do they need? How can you help them? Maybe what they need isn’t what you’re offering, but you know someone who does offer it.

Get them together. Now you have two people who are forever grateful to YOU for getting them together.  Don’t you think they’ll try to return the favor? Sure they will.  Building a sale is about building a relationship.  If you don’t care about the other person, they certainly won’t care about you.

You may be thinking, “but I do care about others and they really need what I have to offer.” That may be true, but they have to believe it before they will buy from you. The worst way to try to sell someone is to tell them they’re stupid or don’t know what they’re doing. They won’t buy from you on principle.

That’s why I never called that woman back. She didn’t think she needed any help. Until she was ready to change, she wasn’t going to get help. It didn’t matter what I said to her.

What she didn’t understand was sales are all about relationships. She didn’t take time to build the relationship. She ambushed me.

Don’t get me wrong, she had good intentions as most people do. Everyone believes in their product and think that everyone should have it.  It’s human nature to be egocentric. They’re excited as they should be.

Besides the “sales experts” always say it’s just a numbers game so just keep talking and you’ll be successful. Use the three foot rule which is “tell everyone who comes within three feet of you.”

Don’t do it!!!!!! Let me say that again! DON’T DO IT!!!!!!!!

When you are talking to anyone, focus on them.  Listen to what they say… and don’t say. Remember that you are there to serve them.

What can you do to help them?  It could be they need your product. It could be something else. Whatever it is, share it with them.  That’s how you build the relationship. If you do that, you will get customers coming back to you over and over again.  You can’t miss.

Rules of Successful Networking… both online and off

I love social networking! It’s a great way to keep in touch with friends and family that live far away.  Especially, since I travel so much. But it’s more than that. I’ve renewed relationships that I thought I had lost and have learned how to make money doing it.  What a blessing!

Everywhere I look, people are talking about social networking for income.  There are a lot of places to do it… Facebook, myspace, linkedin, twitter. The list goes on.  More and more people are doing it. So much so that it’s almost something you have to do to be in business these days. It’s the latest, greatest craze.

Because of this, people have started to offer programs to teach others how to network online.  Everyone’s selling the magic pill to monetize social networking. “You’ll make millions online if you just do my program!”  Okay, I may be exaggerating a little bit, but not much.

Like anything, some of the programs are helpful and some aren’t. Most of the ones that I’ve taken (and there have been several), didn’t teach me anything I didn’t already know. That said, sometimes it’s nice to know that you’re on the right track.

The truth is that online networking isn’t all that different from any other kind of networking.  There are technical things to learn about how to use the different systems, but other than that, it’s pretty much the same.

Here are some things that I’ve learned:

When you first join, learn the rules of the site, both written and unwritten. Take it one step at a time.  Think about going to a party versus a trade show.  When you go to the trade show, you’re focused on doing business and how you can build yours.  At a party, you may end up doing business but the focus is on being social.

It’s the same way online. Facebook is a social networking site. It’s personal so treat it as such. That doesn’t mean you won’t talk about your business, but it is secondary. This is where you’ll put your family photos.

Talk to people and get to know them. If you find out that you can help them, let them know. Don’t start with the business, end with it.

For instance, if you went to a party and met someone there that could use your service, you’ll get their information and follow up with them. You wouldn’t go in and start passing out business cards.

On the other hand, Linkedin is a professional site so you aren’t going to post family pictures on it. On this site, you can start with your business.  If you went to a trade show, you would hand over your business card first and talk about how they can help you or you can help them.  The focus is business.

Regardless, the key to building a professional network is relationships. Online social networks are just another tool to do it.    You want to focus on them and how you can help them.

Know When to Say NO…

One of my favorite movie scenes is from A League of their Own.  I don’t want to give it away if you haven’t seen the movie, but there’s this scene with Gina Davis and Tom Hanks. She’s leaving and he’s trying to convince her to stay.

She said, “It just got too hard.”

Tom Hanks said, “It’s supposed to be hard.  The hard is what makes it great.”

I get Goosebumps just thinking about it.  What a great line!  All the best things in life are the most difficult to get.  The very fact that it’s hard is what makes it special. We all need to remember that.

For Davis’ character, the problem wasn’t baseball, but her relationships.  She knew exactly what to do on the field because she had a defined role. Off the field, she was a friend, a wife, a teammate, and a sister. Things got messier then.  Her roles weren’t as defined and sometimes even contradicted each other.

I think everyone struggles with that to some extent. Everyone has their own roles to fill: parents and children, coworkers, employers and employees, friends and family members.  There are all of these different hats that you have to wear and sometimes it’s hard not only to figure out which one to put on, but what to do once it’s there.   Sometimes it seems like everyone wants something. It’s like being pulled in every direction at once.

It’s hard to know when to say no and when to say yes.  So, you keep saying, “yes, sure, I can do that.” Even when you know you can’t.  Eventually, you’re doing so much that you can’t keep up.  The result is you’re running around like a crazy person, completely stressed out and not getting anything done.  The few things you do get done aren’t done well because you were rushing so you could get on to the next thing. Everything suffers.

I used to do this all the time when I was a teacher. At one point, I was sponsor to three clubs, on three committees, taking classes for my master’s degree and working an extra part time job.  Did I mention that I was teaching 5 full high school classes at the time?

Yikes!

I know what I’m talking about. To be honest, I wasn’t doing any of these things effectively.  I did them because I didn’t know how to say no.  Truthfully, I still struggle with it. It’s not easy.  Just the other day, my boyfriend asked me to do him a favor. I had a busy day planned, but I didn’t want to disappoint him so I did it… seething with resentment the entire time.

I was so angry with him. I kept thinking, “Why do I have to do this for him? Why can’t he do it? He doesn’t need it done today… Why is he making me do this?”  You get the idea. I had this inner tirade going on in my mind.  Then, it came to me. He didn’t make me do anything. I could have said no. Duh!!!!

I’m a little embarrassed because I teach this, but I had to share it. I couldn’t let this opportunity go to waste.  Learning to say no and own your time is one of those really hard lessons that you have to learn over and over again. I had to re-learn the lesson and here it is…

1. Get over it and myself.  The world isn’t going to come to an end if I say no. I am not that important.
2. I set my boundary and told him how it bothered me. I also told him that I might say no or not today the next time. (By the way, I only recommend you explain yourself like this with people who are close to you. You don’t have to explain yourself to coworkers.)
3. Ironically, he didn’t really care. While he wanted the errand run, he said it could have waited a day.

That’s the funny thing about saying no. Most of the time, the people asking aren’t nearly as invested as we are.  If we say no, they’ll find another way to get it done.  It will be inconvenient for them, but not nearly as inconvenient as it will be for you when you say yes.

What’s Your Olympic Dream?

I love the Olympics.  There’s so much ceremony, tradition and history, but what I like about them most are the athletes.  They spend hours working and training and the only reward for most of them is the opportunity to represent their country.

What do they get if they win?

A piece of jewelry and some recognition.  That’s it.  If they’re really lucky, they’ll get on the Wheaties box.  Most of them won’t get the medal or the box, but they still spend years getting ready for those two weeks.

I admire them.

I’ve often wondered what drives them and I think I’ve figured it out. If you look at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, they are working on the highest level of self actualization.  They’re doing that which they are born to do.

It’s who they are and they love it so much that they will do it for free. In fact, they sacrifice for it; their time, their money and their relationships.  It encompasses their world.  As I watched, I noticed some qualities they all share and here they are.

1. They know what they want so they practice and train every day.
2. Whatever their sport, they build their skills. They constantly try to find a better way to do it; better equipment, better training schedule, better technique.
3. They surround themselves with supportive people.  If you have an Olympian in your life, you know that the sport comes first and you want them to win as much as they want to win.  If not, you won’t be a part of their life for long.
4. To a man, they have a coach.  Even if they have an Olympic team coach, they have their own personal coach.  Someone suited to them so that they can be as successful as possible.

It brought to mind all of the people with whom I work.  They’re not Olympians and never will be, but they have their own goals and dreams.  They struggle with knowing what they really want and how to get it. It can be difficult to know what you’re born to do.

It’s not always cut and dried like snowboarding or ice skating.  Sometimes it’s more obscure like helping people. That’s what I’m born to do.  Actually, I was born to help people become more successful. It took a long time to figure out that I was meant for it and could build a business around it.

What are you working on?  Do you have all of these elements?  Maybe you’re not doing what you’re born to do. That’s okay. It doesn’t matter how old you are, you can figure it out and do it if you choose.

The key is to look around your life. What do you love doing so much you would do if for free.  It’s something you do all the time and can’t imagine your life without.  Like I said, sometimes it’s obvious and sometimes it’s not.

If you’re not sure, experiment a little bit with your life.  Try new things. Increase your awareness of everyday activities.  Your bliss is in there somewhere.  It’s just a matter of finding it.

Once you do, you life will be fuller and richer for it. You can build your life around it.  It may not ever make you a fortune or even an Olympic medal, but you will have the joy and satisfaction living your dream.

Think Big!

I spend my days working to help people move to the next level and I’ve noticed an unfortunate trend in our society.  Many people refuse to set goals or try something new unless they’re sure they’ll get it. If they do set a goal they really want; they never reach it because they sabotage themselves.

When they don’t get what they want, it only proves that they couldn’t do it anyway.  In a nutshell, they think small.

You would be surprised how often I hear, “It wasn’t meant to be… or God must be trying to tell me something.” I love that one.  The truth of the matter is that God will never tell you something bad.

He’s not going to lead you in a negative direction. If your goal is a positive one; God wants you to have it. There’s this great story about this guy who goes to heaven after he dies. Let’s call him Tom.

Tom arrived at the gates of heaven and St. Peter greeted him warmly. He said, “Welcome to heaven, Tom. We’re so glad to have you.  God will be down shortly, but in the meantime, you can see or do anything you want.”

Tom, looking around, saw these huge buildings off in the distance. They looked like warehouses so he asked, “What’s in those buildings?”

St. Peter said, “Oh, you don’t want to go in there.”

But Tom insisted, “You said I can see or do anything I want. I want to go in there.”

So Peter agreed.  Once inside the building, Tom saw acres and acres of items; beautiful clothing, cars, homes. Everything he could possibly imagine and there were names on the items.

“What is this place?” Tom asked.

“This is where we store all of the things God wants to people to have, but they don’t ask or try,” replied St. Peter.

“You mean, these are all things that someone should have received, but didn’t get?”

“Yes, that’s right,” said St. Peter, “you see, God wants all of his children to have great success in all aspects of their lives, but so many won’t ask for his help or even meet him half way so here it all sits.”

“Do I have something in here?”

“Well, sure, but you really don’t want…” Tom forgot everything and ran through the warehouse until he found it.  A Rolls Royce with his name on it!

“But it’s beautiful. I could have used this while I was alive.  Why wouldn’t God give it to me?” Tom asked.

St. Peter hesitated and replied, “Because you asked for a Ford. “

The point, of course, is whatever you can imagine, God can imagine more and wants you to have more.

Most of the time, we think way too small.

We make all sorts of excuses.  I don’t have time. I don’t have money.  Of course, I’ve already told you my favorite.  The truth is the only thing holding us back from getting everything we want in life is fear. Fear of failing… fear of succeeding. It doesn’t matter.

It is the one thing that stops us. Remember, I do this every day. I’ve experienced it in my own life and seen it in my clients, friends, family…  Imagine what you would do if you knew… without a doubt… that you couldn’t fail and you’d be happy with the result.

See what I mean? Your bucket list just got a lot longer didn’t it?

It’s the fear that stops us.

That’s why you need to change your thought pattern.  Instead of thinking about your success or failure, set the goal and go for it. You become successful through trying. In fact, it’s more than half the battle. I know it sounds hokey, but I can prove it.

When you try something new or set a goal, even if you don’t like it or get the result you want, you learn something.   Did you know that Thomas Edison tried to create the light bulb over 700 times? When asked if he ever got frustrated and want to give up, he responded, “Why? I’ve merely discovered 700 ways to not make a light bulb.”

That’s how you need to look at it. Don’t worry about what other people think or whether or not you’ll make it. Go for it and learn all the ways to not make the light bulb.  One day you will learn the right way. In the meantime, think of all the other things you can do in trying.

The key to a successful life is to continue growing and learning.  Looking at it that way, it’s much easier to think big.  The next time you think you can’t do something, remind yourself that it’s worth trying. It’s not about the goal. The goal will come. It’s about the journey.