I mean, if everyone else can do it, why can’t I? Have you ever felt this way? I didn’t give up though and kept searching and searching. Finally, I found the secret. It was so simple. It was the one thing that turned everything around for me. I found a coach. She helped me make the changes I needed to build a successful life.. She gave me support. She was my sounding board. She helped me realize what was important to me to be successful and stay focused on it. She taught me how to be my best self; so much so that I decided to become a coach as well.

Having a coach is the most important element to living a successful life. Quit trying to go it alone. You need that person to help you over the edge. Everyone needs a coach. A coach helps you hold up a mirror to your life and see who and what you are… without judgment. Then, they help you move forward to get the life you want. What do you need to change to have the life of your dreams?

What mistakes or variations of mistakes do you keep repeating?

Whatever it is, a coach can be the catalyst to get you to the life you want. I know, I know you don’t think it’s for you… you can do it on your own… you get advice from your ______(insert name here)… you can’t afford it… you don’t have the time to commit. I could go on and on and on. I’ve heard all of the objections. Here are your answers –

• It may not be your deal right now, but you will only know that if you try it. Dismissing something without trying is not only close-minded; you may miss out on the one thing you needed to build the life of your dreams.
• You can’t do it on your own or you’d already be doing it. By the way, the more successful the person, the more coaches they have.
• You can and should get advice from friends and family, but a coach doesn’t tell you what to do. They help you figure it out. We’re trained to focus on you, your needs and how to get them out of you so you can build the life of your dreams.
• That used to be valid, but with our group coaching prices, you don’t have that one anymore. You can get two sessions for as little as $39 a month. That’s less than one tank of gas, a night out, a Starbucks every day … come on.
• If you don’t have time to commit. I would ask, what are you doing with your time now that’s more important than building a life you love?

All of these add up to the real objection, “I’m afraid of change. What if I can’t do it? What if people laugh at me for having a life coach?”

It’s all about fear. Do you want to live in fear or abundance? I challenge you to choose abundance for 90 days. Join our coaching group for the summer and see what happens.

If it doesn’t work for you, try something else; but what if it does work? What if it completely changes your life like it did mine? Will you care what other people think? Will you make time for it? You’ll never know until you try. Our first session is Thursday. Follow the link to sign up and start your journey to the life of your dreams.

The answer to those questions depends on who you ask. If you ask a website designer, they will tell you the right brand is about having the right website. Others will tell you, it’s using social media and other forms of advertising. Some will tell you it’s about having the right logo and tagline.

Those are all part of having a brand, especially if you’re in business, but it’s not the whole picture. Your brand is simply how other people see you.

Businesses and politicians try to get others to see them in a certain way, but it doesn’t always work. Think of AT & T, they have the I phone and it’s great when it works, but they have a reputation for lots of dropped calls. Politicians spend years developing a public image and it can come crashing down with one mistake.

The truth is that you have brand whether you know it or not. Everyone does. It’s a fancy word for reputation. You have one in every aspect of your life… with your friends, your family, at work, even on your social networking site.

 Do you know what yours is? Is it the one you want?

If you answered no or I don’t know to those questions, never fear. I’m here to help. The first thing you want to do is find out what your brand is with those around you by asking them, “Honestly, how do you see me?”

I know it sounds easy, but it’s not as simple as you think. It’s a little scary. What if they tell you something you don’t like?

It’s okay. You don’t start by asking everyone in your circle, just a few close and trusted advisors that will give you an honest response. You want to hear the bad stuff and the good. You may even have to get specific with them by asking, “What are my three best and worst qualities?”

Then work your way out. You will get a lot of different answers, but eventually a pattern will develop. There will be common answers in the different areas of your life. Those answers are your brand. 

Once you know what your current brand is, ask yourself what you want it to be.  What do you want people to think of when they think of you? Does it match the answers to the questions?

If you answered no, then you need to work on developing the brand you want.  To do that you will use your website, social media, advertising, the right logo and tagline as well as customer service, relationships etc. In fact, everything you do or say is part of your own brand.

I know I’m referring to business right now, but remember that it is true in every aspect of your life.  If you don’t like your current brand, change it.

I was talking to her on the phone the other day and she explained everything she was going through. I was shocked. Her life has been challenging lately to say the least. Here’s the abbreviated version.

In addition to normal life craziness, her husband has brain cancer and needs treatment. Of course, he can’t work so she is their only income right now and because of the economy, her job is in trouble and she had to take a pay cut in order to keep it. She was already struggling to pay the bills and keep their home before her pay got cut so life is tough for her right now.

Of course, I offered to help in any way I could and asked what she needed. Then she really shocked me. She said, “Nothing.”

I wasn’t convinced, but she insisted. She explained how they were managing and how grateful she was that it wasn’t worse. She said that sometimes bad things happen and you just have to deal with it. She said they were focusing on the good things and counting their blessings.

WOW! How often do you hear that? I was impressed and I told her. Most people would be immobilized by everything she was dealing with.

Then she said the most AMAZING THING.  I will never forget it. She said, “Well, life happens sometimes, but there’s always happiness. You just have to find it.”

I know, I know. It got to me too. I told you I was inspired.

So often we wander through life complaining about our family, our jobs, our friends, our country. We don’t make enough money. We’re overtaxed and underpaid. No one appreciates us and the whole world is out to get us. We’re so focused on “our problems” that we forget to find the happiness.

The thing about problems is how difficult they are depends on your perspective. If you’ve never had to deal with much, not getting what you want seems like a big problem. If you’ve been through a lot of trials and tribulations, some of those small things don’t seem to matter as much.

As we wander around feeling sorry for ourselves, thinking about “our big problem”… whatever it is… maybe it’s our spouse or our children. We don’t like our job or some other aspect of our lives. We’re just focused on how miserable we are.

Then we get a real problem. Someone gets sick or we lose a family member. Maybe we lose our job and about to lose our home. All the other stuff seems silly. It’s then that we begin to cherish each moment and appreciate our lives. We “find the happiness”.

So the next time you’re focused on the negative or what appears to be a problem, look at it from the other perspective. What good can come from this? Where is the happiness? Can it be worse? I guarantee that it can. In fact, there are people in the world that would LOVE to have your “big” problem.

Remember even when life is bad, that everyone goes through tough times; you can still find the happiness. You just have to look.

It sounds crazy coming from a time management expert to say we’re over-scheduled, but we are. There’s a difference between managing your time productively and be busy for the sake of being busy. Most of us are doing the latter and it’s causing us a lot of stress we don’t need.

We get it honestly though. It’s part of our history. Have you ever heard the saying, “idle hands do the devils work”? It comes from puritan times and it’s what they believed.

They had to in those days. They were building towns out of wilderness and there wasn’t much else to do. Not to mention the fact that they had to work hard just to eat. They couldn’t run down to the corner grocery store and pick up something to pop in the microwave like we can.

Now we have so many choices that it’s hard to choose one thing. Instead of working all day just to survive, we can do pretty much what we want. We don’t have to cook. We have all sorts of modern conveniences and on top of that, we have all sorts of entertainment available every moment of the day.

We have TV’s, stereos, electronic games, computers and the mother of all… the smart phone. Let’s be honest, as a society, we’re absolutely glued to our cell phones. If we’re not talking on them, we’re texting on them or updating our Facebook status on them or playing a game or shopping for apps… you get the idea.

When was the last time you had a family meal without anyone touching their cell phone? We’re so readily available all the time we don’t allow ourselves any real time to relax.

On top of that, we have to pay for all these extras so everyone works.

Of course, we have to contribute to the community, so we have to volunteer in some way.

Don’t forget, we have to help the kids with their homework and homework starts in kindergarten…

Let’s not even talk about the meetings, meetings, meetings!

The list is endless. It feels like everyone wants a piece of us and we’re pulled in a million different directions. We have all these things that we must do.

Really?

The truth is that some of them we have to do, but some we don’t.  In fact, we don’t have to do most of them. To that end, I have an idea.  It’s a little outside the box so keep an open mind.  Here it is…

We do have a choice. We don’t’ have to answer our phones every time they ring. We don’t have to agree every time someone asks us to be on a committee or bake a cake.  Our kids don’t need to do a different activity every night. We don’t even have to have dual income families.  

We can shut off our phones.  We can say no and we don’t even have to say why we said no. We can relax and do nothing if we want.

The Puritans didn’t have a choice. They had to work hard to survive. We have so many conveniences today that we get to choose how and where we work, where we play, and where we live. We get to choose our lifestyle.

So, if you don’t like something about your life, if you feel stressed, if you’re unhappy; choose something else. I’m not saying you should try to change your life overnight; just be aware of the choices you’re making.

Understand that you have the power. Say no when someone asks you to do something. Turn off your cell phone for an hour or, better yet, have a no electronics day and shut off all of your electronics for one day.

You’re stressed because of the choices you’re making, so make different choices. It sounds simplistic but it works. Or you could continue to be stressed. It’s your choice.

• I don’t know what I want to do.
• I don’t have time to plan.
• Planning is boring.
• It doesn’t work for me.
• What’s the point, they never work out anyway.
• I like to be spontaneous.

 You know that one person who always did what she thought was right even as everyone else was trying to convince her otherwise. Not much has changed since then either. She’s easygoing, but if she doesn’t want to do something, she’s not doing it… period!

 She doesn’t yell or argue. She just says no. It’s one of the things that I’ve always admired about her. I couldn’t believe that she saw herself as weak.

 Of course, we never see ourselves as we really are. Our vision is almost always negative. Only a few people see themselves as better than they are, but they’re few and far between. 

 One of the basic tenants behind the Compass coaching philosophy is that we are all born to be great.  When we’re children, we know it instinctively. As we grow older, we forget it.

 Maybe it’s because we learn how to fit in instead of standing up for what we really want. Maybe it’s because we’ve been told one too many times how worthless we are.  Maybe we’re taught that discovering our greatness is selfish. 

 Whatever the reason, we lose that inner knowledge as we grow up.

 On the other side of it are those that see themselves as better than they are. Truthfully, they struggle as much as those who see the negative because they expect things to just come to them. You and I know that life doesn’t work that way.

 I think one of the keys to living a successful life is to find our own inner greatness. Not what people or society think it should be, but what we all know it should be…in our hearts.

 You see, everyone has a different inner greatness. Some are meant to be famous actors and musicians, some are CEOs, and still others are the mom of the year, every year. Some people find their inner greatness digging ditches.

 It doesn’t matter what you do, you’ll find joy just in the search. Then, once you get there, you will continue to grow and build and become a better and better you.  It just continues to multiply.

 Before you can do that, you have to learn to see yourself as you really are. It’s like when you look in the mirror and you only see your fat thighs or ugly nose. You know you have good qualities too, but you only see the bad…. Or vice versa.It’s time to change that.

Take a minute today to look at yourself in the mirror, both literally and figuratively. Write down the good and the bad. Make a list. For every bad quality, you must have a good one.  Ask you friends and family for their input.

 My friend that I mentioned earlier didn’t see herself as strong and I thought of her as one of the strongest people I’ve ever known. I had to convince her of it with examples.

 When I started listing all of the reasons why I thought she was strong, she said, “but everyone can do that.” Then, I had to convince her that her abilities were unique. You have special and unique qualities that you don’t see as well.

 Not everyone can do what you do. Before you can find your inner greatness, you have to see how special you are. I know you can do it!